Blow me, I'm not Irish

. . . so I probably don't have some skanky green stuff growing from my testicles. That happens ya know to idiots who spend all their free time sitting on bar stools singing stupid tribal songs and partaking in alcoholic drinking.

What the fuck gives with these potato eating corned beef gobbling fucktards? I mean, who the fuck cares if you're Irish? Nobody but your fellow drunken mick buddies. We all know why you dress in green. . . to camouflage the puke you get all over yourself when you drink yourself sick like the white trash slobs that you are.

So now we have to tolerate that once per year drink fest where every light weight weenie old enough to buy a drink goes out claiming to be Irish and getting shit faced. Another amature night on the town, but this time with green beer and donuts.

So who was this "St. Patrick" besides some Irish mackerel snapper? This guy has been around for hundreds of years. Irishmen and their freckled skank hos all over the world worship this mick patron once every year. Guess what, his only claim to fame is that he "drove the snakes out of Ireland. Oh good, is that why Ireland is a rat infested shit hole? There were probably never any snakes in Ireland, hence the assumption that it was always a rat infested shit hole, but St. Patrick was a typically drunken Irish sot who thought he saw snakes and you know how easily talked into anything Irishmen are. . . at least, I assume they're the same as those speckled Irish women.

And what's with all you neo-Irish-American yuppies naming your kids dumbass shit like Seamus, Caleb and Connor? Yea, sounds like a good idea when you're 25, et up with yourself and drinking every night at the corner Irish shit hole for your social fix, but remember, this kid is someday going to have to deal with real people in the real world and when he says in his NY or Atlanta accent, "hi my name is Liam," people are going to crack up spontaneously in their face. Do you want your kid humiliated on a daily basis throughout his life?

So all you Irish wankers; STFU! Assimilate for god's sake. It's been over 100 years since your pitiful starving potato eating ancestors crawled ashore in North America begging for a mouthful of anything. Get over yourselves. You got nuthin.

Oh, and here's a good one. The Amurkin Irish want to make St. Patrick's Day a national holiday. I don't think so, morons. You gotta come up with someone better than a hallucinagenic drunken Irishman before you get a national holiday. You want to put some mythological snake charmer up there with Lincoln, Washington and King? Uh huh. Like that's gonna happen.

What else do you have to offer? Irish food? BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! On that basis, India, Thailand, China, Mexico, Japan, about anywhere else but Ireland has a better chance of getting a national holiday in the USA. Go stew ya up some meat and potatoes.

Maybe an inspiring liberation movement would convince us there is some merit in an Irish national holiday. HAR! Nope, the Irish simply killed a whole bunch of their fellow citizens over a period of a decade or so and then caved back in to British dominance. And we thought the IRA was such a bunch of toughies.

It's bad enough that every year around March 17th, everything turns puke green. I think we'll pass on any further adoration of a useless excersise in self abuse and ignorance.

Happy St. Patrick Day. Come on by and I'll give you a kiss for being Irish.