Saturday, July 5, 2008

Hillbilly Review Board #3

Hillbillies, get over yourselves.
There is a very small tiny insignificant movement afoot in WV blog circles to overcome the stereotypes that these folks claim are oh so oppressive to their lives as West Virginians. Mostly, these folks are white urbane pseudo sophisticates who want WV to be some socially hip mixture of urbane and rural culture. . . bluegrass and REM, pulled pork with demi-glace, corporate board rooms and ramp festivals. . . you get the idea.

So these semi-educated semi-professional weenies think WVians are misaligned. Well welcome to the fucking club bozos. Almost every state in the union has a stereotype that it has to overcome. Let’s look at a couple of them, shall we?

New Jersey – The toxic waste dump state.
New York – loud obnoxious fast talking pricks
Florida – Floriduh
Texas – ignorant cowboy morons (ok, that one’s not a stereotype).
California – the stoner state.
Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, etc. – they might not be hillbillies, but they suffer the same stereotypes.

Who the fuck cares what some people from some other state think about your state. It’s just silly shit. Sit down and tell a black person how prejudiced you think people are against the people in your state. Be prepared to be ridiculed and generally made to look like a fool. . . but hey, you’re probably used to it by now. There are people in this country today who battle prejudice everyday of their lives. They have to teach their children how to maneuver in a world that is going to try and keep them down and oppress their goals at every turn in the road no matter where they go or what they do. So what the fuck? Gimme a break with your whiney little baby shit. As long as you’re in your own state, what some other bozo in the next state thinks doesn’t matter a whole hell of a lot, now does it? When you go out-of-state are you going to wear a fucking sign on your ass that says “I’m a dumb hillbilly?” No, you’re going to be treated like any other white person. “Prejudice.” If you had any fucking clue about what prejudice is like for people who REALLY have to fight it on a day-to-day basis, you’d shut your fucking pie holes.

So just get over all this ‘poor me I’m being scorned’ bullshit. If you feel you’re being viewed as an ignorant hillbilly, make sure you’re not acting like an ignorant hillbilly. Get on with your life and be the cool hip urbane person you want to be and live the life you want to live. Someone else’s attitude about your state or geographic locale is NOT your problem. Want to know what your problem is? Here’s a hint: Take a look in the closest mirror.

Personally, I’m glad people from other states don’t want to come here and I think WV should pretty much stay the way it is. I like our sparse stable population. I like our low crime rate and I like our low cost of living. I could never live the life I live and have lived anywhere else. I have built and lived in a house that people in other parts of the country would have thought was a mansion costing over $1 million, but here, it was a fraction of that cost. I live on a beautiful big farm that in any other part of the country I never could have afforded, but here, the cost of farm land is relatively cheap and when I decided I had to get back to my roots, I could afford it. I don’t lock my doors. Ever. I leave the keys in my car. I don’t worry about leaving my teenaged daughter home alone overnight. I can go out onto my front porch in my underwear or no underwear if I want to anytime of day or night. My taxes are almost zero compared to people who live in groovy places.
Life is better in West Virginia BECAUSE other people don’t really want to come here. BECAUSE they think it’s some backwater (which it is, so what?).
So folks, why don’t you change your own attitude. Why don’t you work to make West Virginia a better place instead of worrying what everyone else thinks of West Virginia. It really is a juvenile pursuit to try and change the way other people think about you by trying to talk them out of it. You aint gonna talk them out of thinking you’re an asshole. You’ve got to quit acting like an asshole. You aint gonna talk them out of thinking you’re a juvenile little dip shit. You’ve got to quit acting like a juvenile little dip shit.

Oh, and I think I insulted most hillbillies in my opening line. The folks who give a shit about what everybody else thinks probably aint much of hillbillies. See, the hillbillies I know just don’t give a flying shit what you or anyone else thinks about them. So my fellow hillbillies, I apologize for lumping you in with these yuppish bores who think it is their duty to change West Virginia’s image for their own sake.

10 comments:

rainywalker said...

When I was a kid in Ohio I was ashamed of West Virginia. But I finally realized they raped our state to fire the steel mills and left us lying along side the road. I fun about West Virginia but am proud of where I lived a large portion of my life. I've lived in several countries and many states and they all have their beauty and downsides. They call us a bunch of hippy liberals out here in Colorado and I'm not even a liberal. But everyone treats me great and yes in a town of 770 thousand we have one bluegrass band. I was in San Francisco once and someone on an offramp blowed his horn at me. I looked up and as he pased he had West Virginia plates like mine. Made me feel kinda good! I guess they still call the people in Ohio the ones who drive in the passing lane?

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Sagacious, I love your Hillbilly Review Boards. Comedic entertainment mixed with truth is a winning combo.

Anyhoo - WV is a beautiful place. In the early '90s, a white woman I used to work with owned a pretty vacation house with streams on either side. It would have been completely unaffordable anywhere else. I also knew a black educator with the Maryland school system who lived out there. He was very bright and dignified. I asked him why he lived so far away, and he said it was worth the commute. I never had the chance to ask him if racism was a problem but assumed he was brave.

Let me ask you, how is it for blacks to live and work there? I had one bad experience being called a nigger outside of Walmart a couple years ago, and my son and his friend felt hassled by a waitress once at a diner. But assholes are everywhere.

I'd love to live in small house on a little lot of land where I could grow vegetables and not worry about crime (or cross burnings in my front yard). I've seen the white WV Obama supporters on TV, so I know the place has progressed.

If you and your family (if you have one) woke up black tomorrow morning, would you feel safe?

Also, which area, county or city of this sizable state would be the best for a black mother and daughter (starting high school) to live in, in your opinion?

SagaciousHillbilly said...

kit, You always get me thinking.
I live about 30 miles north of the WV capital in the middle of nowhere. Knowing who and what my neighbors are. . . we're all farmers. . . yes, I'd feel safe if I woke up black tomorrow. Really.
I'm not saying these folks don't have their prejudices and racist vierws that thery grew up with, but I really believe they'd treat any personwith respect and help them out the same as any other person if that person acted decent and like a good neighbor back.

A good place to live in WV? You definitely want to stay north of Charleston. When you go south from Charleston, the stereotypes come alive.

I like the little town I live near. I've seen all sorts of folks in town and never seen anyone treated bad. A while back a black couple had some trouble with some local red necks and the people gathered round and ran the rednecks out of the county. It seems like people just don't want that type of shit going on anymore.
I hope we see a really big change in attitudes when Barrack becomes president.

If I were you and really serious about moving to a different place, I'd do a lot of research and visiting.
I'd also have a job lined up. It's tough out there these days.
I like the area up US 77 along the Ohio River. Land is cheap and folks aren't dependent upon coal mining. It's ugly in the coal fields.

MacDaddy said...

sagacious: I think you find your niche with that Hillbilly Review Boards. I hope you use it again to keep educating us.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Thanks Sagacious for your thoughtful response. I hope to go camping at least once this summer and I'll pick WV. They have cool caves too.

BTW, I've been to the library twice to get the book you recommended awhile back, "The Road", but the first time it was closed and the 2nd time I couldn't recall the title or author. I'll try again this week.

Thanks,

~ Kit

SagaciousHillbilly said...

kit, don't think it was me who recommended that book as I'm not familiar with it.
Try camping at Seneca Rocks if you're coming to WV from the east.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Mac, I don't like niches, they remind me of ruts.
But worry not, when the need arises for me to educate my people, I will rise to the occasion without hesitation.

yellowdog granny said...

don't judge all texans by bush..he's not even a texan..he's from new haven, conn. in texas we have an expression about his type...
all hat and no cattle..

SagaciousHillbilly said...

YD, No, Bush is no Texan. . . too big a chump, wussy. I spent many many moons in Texas back in a previous life. Spent a lot of time down around the border, Victoria, Galveston, San Antone.
I really liked the women and they liked me. They said they liked me because I wasn't a Texas guy.
I always said there wasn't anything worng with Texas a big enema wouldn't cure. You know it's true!

MountainLaurel said...

SH, I think a niche is when you find your talent and hone it to a fine art, as you've done with your Review Boards. you've inspired a blog post. It'll be on my blog as soon as I write it.