Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Well I was born in a small town. . . .

And I live in a small town
Probly die in a small town
Oh, those small communities
____________________ John Mellencamp, Small Town

My oldest friend and from the same small town sent this to me.


Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.

Those who didn't will be in disbelief and won't understand how true it is.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6.)

4) You used to 'drag' Main .

5) You whispered the 'F' word and your parents knew within the hour.

6) You scheduled parties ar ound the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anderson 's, and it's four houses left of the track field.

13) The golf course had only 9 holes.

14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

16) The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your town.

17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1955 as the 'rich' people.

18) The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.

19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairybar.

20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.

23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over a nd ask if you wanted a ride.

24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names..

25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.

26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID. (They even had 'Counter checks' - generic checks from both banks.)

27) There was no McDonalds.

28) The closest mall was over an hour away.

29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.

30) You've pee'd in a cornfield.

31) Most people went by a nickname.

32) You laughed your butt off reading this because you know it is true, and you forward it to everyone who may have lived in a small town.


MountainLaurel said...

Oh, does that bring back memories. We had a mall, which is where everyone was on a Saturday night. I dared not pull anything because my dad had done the same thing 20-some years before and knew what to look for. Never snuck out because there was no place to sneak to. And directions always referenced where something used to be. "It's right where Currey's store used to be." I knew the locations of places that were gone 20 years before I was born, of necessity.

Thanks for the memories.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Oh, man, Sagacious, sorry I was so immersed in writing this week that I'm just getting around to this. It was great. I laughed at a lot of them. It was easy for me to picture all this because I used to watch Mayberry RFD and those other Andy Griffith shows, and just have a sense of the small town w/o having ever lived in one.

BTW, I have actually baled hay. I lasted three weekends at a summer job in undergrad when I was considering becoming a veterinarian.

I drove some kind of little vehicle to a silo, climbed up in it, and with a pitchfork, pitched it out into the truck below. Then I'd drive it to a barn. I'd have to release the cows and steers of the barn, push the poop on a conveyor belt, then weigh how much hay I gave them in the stalls, and let them back in.

I was shocked how much strength and stamina it required, especially pitching hay. It also amazed me that if you sat on a cow that is reclining and bounced on gently, poop would come out of her. Didn't try this with the steers because they're mean.

MountainLaurel said...

I don't want to say I grew up in a small town, but I went to school with Sheep, Lit, Goose and his brother Weasel, Buttsy, and his brother Chi-Chi.

My dad went to school with the town barber, 88. His younger brother was 44 and his younger brother was 22.
Not sure what that says about me...but I can guess!

Mountain Laurel on behalf of Ruppie

MountainLaurel said...

Oh, Kit, pitching hay is hard, hard work. Nobody ever doubted that where I came from. I actually enjoyed haying time because my dad would get friends to cut our fields. Their payment was the hay. and I got to watch the young, muscled men put up the hay. Win-win all around, though I know Dad never knew how much I enjoyed that!!! :-)