Friday, October 17, 2008

White Trash Like Me

Hold me back. . . I really shouldn't do this. . . WTF here goes. . .

Lemme tell ya something; I know white trash. I was raised it and I've lived it for most of my life. Now don't get me wrong, I was never dirt poor or living in any kind of squalor, I've simply been white trash for most of my life. Ya see, white trash is a state of mind AND a life style. It's sorta like "working class," if you don't live it, you can't really know what it's like any more than some white trash working class lug can know what it's like to be blue blooded rich, but I digress.
I think I got over on white trash a bit in my life. My parents always told their children that they needed to go to college. That was our goal. You see, nobody in our family had ever gone to college. Of 22 cousins on my father's side of the family, my brother and I were the only ones to go to college let alone receive college degrees. But true to form, after college and after I'd scored a decent job, I still moved my family into a trailer on three acres and built my own house with my own two hands just like a good ol white trash boy.
The details of my qualifications as someone who knows white trash don't really matter. What does matter is that I AM qualified to recognize white trash and I can see white trash comin from a mile away and smell it from even farther.
The first time I laid eyes on the Sarah Palin family, I knew I was lookin at some real white trash.

Todd Palin is the epitome of white trash. Check this guy out. . . the middle age goate, the hollow look on his face indicating that he's WAY beyond where he ought to be let alone where he feels comfortable. The guy races snow mobiles. . . That's sorta like racing dirt bikes or four wheelers around here. . . pure white trash. I guarantee you'll find PAlin sitting in front of the TV watching NASCAR when a race is on. Education? Not much. Exactly what he does is also a mystery. He fishes and he seems to have some sort of part time job with the oil companies. "Part time job" with the oil companies? How do you get a part time job with the oil companies where you get numerous months off during the year to go fishing? Face it, this guy is a redneck white trash. They can clean him up, put a suit on him and do whatever else they want to him, but he's still projects bubba-with-few-clues to those of us with white trash radar operating.
How bout that "Levi" "I'm a fuicking redneck" the future son-in-law? Popular football player, got the popular girl knocked-up so what's he do. . . probably at the urging of the white trash in-laws, he quits school and gits a job. Brilliant. Would you want your pregnant daughter marrying some dunderhead with no HS education or would you lend whatever support you could to see to it that they both finish HS and have the best opportunity they possibly can have for the future? The Palins did what white trash always does. . . "git a haircut and git a job boy."
That brings us to this whole jobs thing. Bubba has a job with the oil companies working around his salmon fishing gig and Junior get an apprentice electrician job without a HS diploma. Those both seem like fairy tale bullshit to me, but guess what. The first thing white trash people do when they get into any position of power, be it mini-pusher at a day job or apparently even governor of Alaska is, they get their relatives jobs. Typical white trash behavior.
I'm gonna leave the rest of the kids alone. They're all underage and not responsible for their white trash behaviors, but one thing about white trash adults is, they don't mind lettin the younguns mind the baby. Yep, you'll see six year olds walking around with infants in white trash trailer parks. ("where's yer Moma little girl?" the social worker visiting next door asks "Oh, she's busy gittin daddy up for work so I'm taking baby JimmyRay fer a walk. Here," she says to the 4 yr old, "you hold him for a while").

Oh and there's the beauty queen herself. Ya see, Sarah thinks she's gotten beyond white trash. I got news for ya honey, you reek of white trash. It's all over you. From the fundamental extremist pentacostal religion to the holier than thou attitude, to the community college degree it took you six years to get you stink of white trash. See the reason that proles are so easily manipulated is their preference of fundamentalist religions. The muslims actually get their's to blow themselves up. The christians get them to take down an abortion clinic now and then, but mostly it's all about drinking the kool-aide. . . and drink she has done.
The thing about white trash women who have gotten a community college education and maybe had a modicum of success is that they always have to whine in a high pitched irritating voice. Not that they don't have something to whine about, being forced to endure the strict mentality of white trashdom, but they do whine and it's aggravating. Ever listen to the Beauty queen governor speak? She's a fucking whiner. . . a sarcastic, snide, holier than thou whiner. Makes a white trash guy like me want to just tell her to shut the fuck up and either get on her knees or get in the kitchen. . . HA! just kidding, I'd never think like that. . . really, I'm educated. . . I got me some degrees. . . jist like Sarah's got her one.

Oh the beauty queen. Do you think Paris Hilton ever entered a beauty contest? I'll bet not. Ya see, beauty contests are for white trash babes looking for a way out. It has universal appeal to white trash babes. Contest winnings always come with a college scholarship. Who do you think they're trying to appeal to, those who can afford college? And oh how those beauty crowns provide them with stature. I remember when I was growing up, my best friend next door's sister won the Miss Nameofmyhometown crown. She really was a beauty. You'd have thought she won a Nobel prize. She was the shits of our world from July 4th (the day of the pagent) to July 4th the next year. Being beautiful, she went on to secretary school and then landed a good secretarial position where she became some sort of HR manager in later years.
Not every beauty queen gets to be governor, but then, not many beauty queens are from Alaska.
Sarah Palin is one big facade. She presents a face that reflect some level of education and enlightenment when in fact, right there below that hard thin surface is a raging angry bigot of white trash proportions straining to get free. "Raging" "angry?" You betcha. See, she got her some education and she thinks she deserves more than Todd the Cod or a sheltered life in Wasilla Alaska. She should be somebody. OK, so you became governor. That doesn't erase the anger and the rage. No my dear, that is part of you like the stripes on a tiger along with the discontent and that phoney "good girl" smile.

I've got a lot of respect for white trash folks who make it in the world and rise to some level of achievement. I have to. I've got a lot of respect for Sarah Palin as a fellow member of the white trash elite. We busted our asses to get somewhere beyond the drudgery and confines of white trashdom. Good for you Sarah, I respect you for it, but honey, that doesn't make you qualified to be president of the United States! Fuck NO!
Think about what you want in a president. Don't you want a cool calm person who is really well educated and has lots of experience in the broad array of areas and people?
Don't you want someone who isn't a festering anger ball waiting to explode?
I know white trash MFers who have gone to Harvard med school and were brilliant in their careers and I'd want neither of them in a position of power deciding the fate of the nation. Too much baggage, too much anger. The President of the United States needs to be a calm rational person; one with insight and forethought.
I suspect there are some white trash folks who could fit the bill. I'm not sure I've ever met one, but then I don't know if I've ever met ANYONE qualified to fit that bill.
One thing I do know for sure is; Sarah Palin aint one of them. She is a seething ball of white trash sardonic anger. Her intellect is about as developed as the lady who is mayor of our little burg here in the middle of Nowhere, WV.
What the fuck were Puffy McBush's people thinking when they advised/allowed him to pick this train wreck waiting to happen for VP?

Sarah, you're a joke. Stop embarrassing yourself and all the rest of us white trash chumps who are trying to pass through this world with some modicum of dignity and respect.

Self loathing?! Golly gee, I hope not.


Vigilante said...

I'm with you, Billy. Straight up. Let's shake hands and say in unison,

You betcha!

rainywalker said...

Interesting definition of white trash. My Granpa used to say they had attack chickens, but all I ever say was cock fighting.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

You betcha.
Oh damn Rainy, I forgot to mention the fightin chickens. . . they call em "chickens" ya know.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Hey, I wonder if the Alaska white trash have fighting tarmagins?

themom said...

...and doesn't she act like she is out of her league, with her condescending tone towards Obama? Makes me want to puke! Can we not wait to see her screw up on SNL?? I'm not watching.

rainywalker said...

Could be they had tarmagins on a rope back during the gold rush in Chicken, Alaska. Not bad eating out in the bush with the White Trash, kind of tastes like chicken.

crystal dawn said...

hillbilly, you've got it so right with this one. This whole idea that average thinking whities deserve to run a country. I'll take the slightly crooked and highly educated over the fucking idiot crooks (they're all a bit crooked, no?)

I especially love the Todd Palin description you gave us, with his middle aged goatee - err, I mean mangina. :)

MountainLaurel said...

Excellent comments. I was also "white trash" by your definition, though I prefer the term "Ruppie," meaning redneck yuppie. Upwardly mobile, but we drink our homemade chardonnay from mason jars.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Sagacious - Don't know how I missed this post. As a black woman, it was an amazing read, and as a human, I can relate that. I am still most comfortable living in environments similar to my childhood years which are distinctly working-almost-middle class. Thus, I understand completely your actions after graduating college, ie getting a trailor and building your house. Cool. Beats the hell out of men who can't change a tire or their oil. LOL.

But I liked this post a lot, and added it my Hall of Fame posts by individual bloggers on the left sidebar of my blog.

One other thing. You said you couldn't think of anyone from your background who might be a good President due to too much baggage. I could:

Jimmy Carter.