Saturday, December 1, 2007

Found my way downstairs and drank a cup. . .

. . . and looking up I noticed I was late.

Finally, the boreass is gone, business is done and I can go down to the gate and veg out. Well, I could if these inept parents would keep some sort of control over their obnoxious children. Is this all part of the touchy feely bs where they let their kids do whatever the fuck they want without severe consequences? I got news for you fucktards, kids need to learn that life isn’t all about doing whatever the fuck you want however and whenever you want. It’s not about not suffering severe consequences when you fuck up either. How can there be responsibility without consequence?
Another thing about these morons. . . when did parent start needing to push a big bulky stroller for each kid and a gigantic supply bag for each kid. I see some of these parents going through the airport with a couple kids and they’re loaded down like pack animals. Ridiculous. Carry your own teddy bear and you don’t need anything else. Why the fuck do so many parents have to travel with their little tiny children anyway? Is it really necessary?
It used to be that parents acted like parents and not the unwilling nannies of spoiled children of privilege.
Little children should either make their own way or be carried. I realize that your 5 year old is a lazy little spoiled brat who has never had to venture very far from the TV screen to find his entertainment, but seeing him in a stroller because he is too lazy to walk and you just don’t want to put up with the fuss he might make is kinda disgusting. Here, I’ll take care of the kid. He opens his mouth in protest more than once and he’ll be wishing he hadn’t. The back of my hand will keep him quiet just fine as he trudges through the airport with the rest of the sheep. But all that should have been established a long time ago. NOT in the middle of some airport jetway.

Ahhh, wonderful. I’m sitting in a 737 that’s less than half full. I’ve got an entire emergency exit row to stretch out in and relax. I might just get some sleep. I wonder how the crab cakes are at that crab restaurant in the next airport?

It’s always a thrill to look out at the coast line and see The Cape down below. Could there be a cooler more historic place on Earth?

Why is it that the plane I arrive on and the plane I depart on are ALWAYS on oppisite ends of this fucking airport? And it seems like I always have tight connections coming back through here.


TED VELVET said...

my wife spoils my kids, so they're alway crying for mommy and want to hang with her instead of me but they listen a hell of a lot better to me. It's not my job to be liked by my kids or their best friend, it's my job to teach and prepare them to get along in the world. I play and goof with them and roll around but when playtime is over they know they better listen or they'll pay.

Colonel Colonel said...

You mentioned the Cape and clam chowdah. Did you fly through Boston's Logan airport?

My deepest, most profound sympathies.

Back when we lived in Cambridge (over the river from the airport) we often drove the 90 minutes to Providence, R.I. to use T.F. Green Airport instead. That was often faster...

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Colonel, I was referencing THE Cape. Cape Canaveral.
Cape Cod is nice. I've spent a few drunken days over the years hanging around Wellfleet Harbor cooking lobsters and clams over a fire, but I kinda like the solitude of Cape Hatteras better. . . as far a capes go.
Lessee, I mentioned Crab cakes, a crab meat omelet, but I don't see clam chowder anywhere. . . but I did have a small bowl of it in the restaurant in the Palm Beach airport. Are you psychic?

The first time I ever went to Boston I did my usual 'let's see how drunk I can get between home and my destination' routine and then jumped in a rented car fired up a fat one and headed into Boston. Wow, that was fun.

Ted, Right on. They'll thank you for it someday.

Rebecca Burch said...

Mmmmmmmmmm... craaaaaab caaaaaaaakes!!!!!

That would almost make up for having to deal with the obnoxious children. Almost. Oy.

Blonde Goddess said...

My kids say that we are the strictest parents they know.
This is probably true.
Some of the insane shit other parents allow their kids to do blows my mind.
And is it just me, or are the responsible, consequence teaching parents the minority in this country or what?
The people you saw in the airport seem to be the norm as far as I can tell and people like me seem to be the oddity.

Buzzardbilly said...

Too many parents these days give into "well, all the other parents are letting their kids do it." Way too many.

But, then again, that fear that the kids will turn you into social services is a strong motivator too.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

beccaB, Yea, I love crab cakes. so much in fact that I've sorta mastered the fine art of their construction.
Talk nice to me and I might post my recipe here someday.

Goddess, BE the most strict parents your children know. Make no apologies for it. Give them plenty of love to go with it and your kids wil be successful adults. I know this to be true from experience.

BuzzB, I used to pick up the phone and hand it to my kids when they threatened to call DHHR.

My son was a prankster from an early age. I'm surprised he never did call DHHR. At about 8 he whispered to a Wal Mart employee that my sister was kidnapping him. After a traumatic hour long process of cops and phone calls home, he was severely reprimanded by the authorities.
That didn't stop him. . . a couple years later, as my elderly mother was going through security at the airport on her way home (pre 9/11), he told one of the security guard that "that old lady has a gun in her pocket book." Another severe reprimand from both airport police and city officers.
Then there were the things he didn't get caught doing.

The Practical Pundit said...

After a traumatic hour long process of cops and phone calls home, he was severely reprimanded by the authorities.

Another severe reprimand from both airport police and city officers.

Curiously absent: any suggestion that you in any way reprimanded or punished him yourself. Way to let the civil authorities do the parenting for you.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

prac pun, Fuck you. You don't know what I did or didn't do upon those events. I don't have to apologize to anyone for how I raised my kids. They are all exceptionally successful and well heeled adults who thank me for how I raised them.
If you've got nothing but snide bs to add, get the fuck outta here, asshole.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

HAR! Is that you Saggy?!

Hope all is well in Caucus Land. . . and don't forget. Iowa doesn't matter. It's less significant than WV!